


it's not easy for me to talk about

by sapphicsanvers, serenesapphic



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Carol and Monica, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Flashbacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-12-26 03:03:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18274481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicsanvers/pseuds/sapphicsanvers, https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenesapphic/pseuds/serenesapphic
Summary: the one where Monica is sad, Maria is out of town, and Carol has no idea what to do.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi! so I got this prompt from @MikaylaEarp on twitter, and I fell in love with the idea of a protective Carol. And then I realized I hit 1k and hadn't even gotten to the main plot, so I decided to split this up into two parts. I loved exploring the Carol/Monica dynamic and of course there's Carolmaria in there too. the second part will be up very soon. also, my Twitter is @serenesapphic in case you want to suggest things or ask questions or whatever! thanks for reading <3

Monica was quiet. Too quiet. A stark contrast from the past three months where she had practically been bouncing off the walls every moment of the day and night. The timid demeanor she was displaying now was unusual and concerning. Since Carol’s return, Monica hadn’t wanted to spend a second more than necessary away from her. She held her hand, played in her hair, begged to hear stories from the war. And Carol would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy it. Monica was her little girl. A beautiful product of her and the love of her life, regardless of biology. She burst with pride and love at the sight of her. She always had.

Thanks to the six-year time gap she’d only recently come to terms with, Carol never had to experience missing Monica, or Maria for that matter. In a weird way, she was grateful. Carol couldn’t _imagine_ knowing that she was away from the two people she loved most in the world for such a long period of time.

Carol fell in love with Maria a lifetime ago. They were enemies first, constantly battling for Dr. Lawson’s attention and approval. They shared the same dream; to fly. To soar through the open skies with their pasts at their back and cotton ball clouds ahead. The fiery passion that flowed through Carol made its way through Maria as well. The women were headstrong and fierce, unwilling to lose. This made for intense competitions topped off with heated debates. Dr. Wendy Lawson often found herself diffusing yelling matches between the two. She was the first to catch on. She began to give Carol and Maria assignments that forced them to work together. From maintenance to drills to plotting routes, they were always at each other’s side. At first, the decision was met with vehement objection.

_You want me to spend all day with her?!_

_She’ll slow me down!_

_I can do so much better._

_We’ll never get anything done!_

They couldn’t have been more wrong. Once they had to put their competitiveness aside, Carol and Maria got along like a house on fire. Their progress was phenomenal. The two women went higher, further, and faster than anyone else in the Air Force. As cliché as it sounds, they were so much better together. And after a while, they realized it too. Late nights at the Force became even later nights at the bar. There was no longer a point in avoiding each other. They sang together, danced together, and told secrets they never thought would see the light of day. All prior offenses were forgotten, and the women became each other’s future. Maria became fiercely protective of Carol, and vice versa. Any sly whispers or wolf whistles were met with tight fists and choice words. Though she saw everything, Dr. Lawson mostly remained quiet, secretly proud of her girls.

They were best friends. Inseparable. Then, Carol caught feelings. New and strong feelings that overwhelmed her mind whether she was around Maria or not. She grew distant out of fear and hesitation. She didn’t want things to change. They did, though, because Maria noticed but didn’t understand. She begged Carol to stay, to explain, but Carol was as stubborn as she was blind. So they fought again, but this time their words had a new edge. They fell apart. Then, Maria got pregnant. Of course, Carol came running back. She was in love with her, after all. Monica’s dad had never been in the picture. Years later, Maria joked that it was because he knew there would be no room for him. Carol and Maria spent every sleepless night and early morning by each other’s side. Through pregnancy, through childbirth, through raising little Monica. But they remained best friends. Both scared to cross a nonexistent line. Until the night before the crash. When alcohol burned their throats and streamed in their veins. When feelings were high and inhibitions were low. But that’s a story for another time. The next thing Maria knew, Carol was gone. The worst part of it all was that she loved her too.

Six years and three months later, Carol was back. Sitting across the dinner table from an eleven-year-old Monica with no clue how to fix the melancholy look on her face. Maria left that morning to visit her parents for the weekend. They could bond, she’d said. It’d be fun, she’d said. But neither of them were having very much fun right now. When Monica hadn’t sprinted into Carol’s arms as soon as she got off of the school bus, Carol knew something was up. So, she’d ordered Monica’s favorite pizza - Hawaiian style - to try and cheer her up, but to no avail. The young girl would barely speak a word.

“Hey Mon, you wanna watch The Princess and the Frog after dinner?” She suggested, mustering every bit of pep within her. It was the preteen’s favorite movie of all time. It always cheered her up, or at least it used to.

“Not really.” Monica picked at the small slices of pineapple spread out on her pizza. She avoided eye contact.

Carol sighed. She’d been in blood-filled wars, experienced heartbreaking losses, and suffered fatal injuries, but she had never felt more helpless than she did at that moment. Carol knew there was only one option left. She scooted her chair out from under the table.

“I’ll be right back, yeah?”

Monica nodded, gaze not leaving the cold pizza in front of her.

Carol shook her head and slid upstairs into their bedroom. She picked up her phone from where it’d been charging on her side of the bed, the one closest to the door. Maria had gotten it for her soon after she’d returned. She said it was this world’s communicators now. Of course, Carol remembered what phones were from before the crash, but they were nowhere near this advanced. So, Maria and Monica had taught her the basics: how to call, text, take photos and videos, go on YouTube, etc. Most importantly, how to change her screensaver so that it could be a picture of the three of them baking cookies a couple of nights after she came back.

Carol touched the green button she was most accustomed to and pressed Maria’s contact, her name with a bright red heart next to it. The phone only rang twice before she picked up.

“Is everything okay? How’s Monica? Is she hurt? Are you hurt? Did you break anything?” Maria began to ramble. Carol opened her mouth to speak but had to close it several times as her girlfriend went on.

Finally, it stopped, “Hello to you too,” Carol edged in.

She heard Maria sigh, “I’m sorry, babe. Hi, how are things going?”

“They’re going well. I haven’t burned down the house yet. I even ordered pizza on my own.”

“On your own?”

“Okay, Monica helped. But only because she begged to!”  
  
“Mhm.”

They fell into a comfortable silence. Carol wanted Maria here, with her. She didn’t know how to do this alone, and she had a feeling Monica could tell.

“If everything is going alright, why did you call?” Maria said softly, as if it was an afterthought.

“I can’t call my girlfriend just to say hi?” Carol retorted.

“You can, but you didn’t.”

Carol gave in, “Something’s wrong with Monica,” she was sure she heard Maria’s heart rate pick up, “Nothing big, don’t worry. She’s fine. She’s just not talking to me.” Maria relaxed.

“Oh. Well, have you asked her why?”

Carol felt dumb. The thought hadn't even crossed her mind. “Uh, no?”

“Hm. Well, maybe you should try _talking_ to her about why she’s not talking to you.”

“Ok, ok. I get it. I have no idea what the hell I’m doing.”

“You’re right, you don’t,” Maria joked.

“Babe. Stop. I’m serious. She’s upset and I don’t know how to fix it. I’m...frustrated.”

“The great Carol Danvers is frustrated because the eleven-year-old is upset? Just when I thought I’d seen it all.”

“Maria.” Carol’s tone went cold.

“Alright, alright. Listen, babe. You can do this. She’s looked up to you from the day she was born. Odds are, she wants to talk to you, she just doesn’t know how. She’s eleven. This could be nothing. It probably is. I trust you, Carol. You got this.”

Carol was beyond grateful for Maria’s support. It was exactly what she’d needed.

“I love you,” she whispered into the phone. Her eyes fluttered closed for a second and she tried to imagine Maria was right there, rubbing her back telling her everything would be alright.

“I love you more, baby. Now go talk to our girl. Call me after, yeah?”

“Yeah.” The line went dead.

Carol placed the phone back on her pillow and took a deep breath. She could do this. It was just Monica. They’d always had a special bond. Maria was right, she probably just needed a reason to start talking, and then Carol could help. She hoped. She reluctantly descended the steps and found the girl right where she’d left her, having a staring competition with her dinner. Carol relaxed her shoulders and cracked her knuckles. She could do this. The woman moved from the bottom of the staircase to the table and waited for Monica to acknowledge her. When she finally looked up, there was a sadness in her eyes that Carol hadn’t expected. She had to do something.

“Hey, do you, uh, wanna, maybe talk?” Carol stumbled over her words.

“About what?” Monica responded quietly. She held their stare.

“Whatever’s been going on with you today. You’ve been weird.” Carol’s tone was harsher than she’d intended, and Monica squinted.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice somehow even lower than before.

“No, kid, I didn't mean it like that. I just- Are you okay?”

Monica’s gaze softened; as if she was only now realizing the intent behind Carol’s questioning. Still, her answer was half-hearted.

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” A bit of desperation leaked out of Carol’s tone. She was doing what Maria told her to do. Why wasn't Monica opening up yet?

“Yeah, I'm sure,” she replied, even adding a little smile. It was almost convincing. Carol may not have had a lot of experience parenting, but she knew Monica. Sure, she’d changed a lot in the past six years. Barbie turned to nail polish. Costume jewelry to real. She’d done a hell of a lot of growing up. But she was still Carol’s little girl. She tried to remember that. The girl she’d helped raised was upset, and she had to fix it. So, she fought the strong urge to run back upstairs and pushed Monica to talk to her.

“Listen, I'm trying my best here. I know something is off. You're not yourself. And I miss you. You're my best friend. So, talk to me please? And we can try and get you back?” Carol held her breath.

“There's nothing you can do,” Monica stated. She sounded forlorn, like she truly believed the situation was helpless. Yet it was more progress than she’d made before. Plus, Carol believed otherwise.

“I don't think that's true,” she replied matter-of-factly. Monica blinked. She looked uncomfortable, like she wanted to disappear. She'd began to pick at her fingernails. Carol grinned to herself a little. Maria always did that when she felt nervous.

“I’m pretty sure it is.”

“How about you come sit on the couch with me? I think you've babysat that pizza long enough,” Carol offered. Monica almost smiled, almost. They both walked to the couch and sat down. Carol sat criss cross applesauce facing Monica with both her feet tucked in between the cushions. She gestured for Monica to do the same, and she did. Carol scrunched her nose; Maria hated when they put their feet up on the couch. She figured it'd lift the girl’s spirits a little. Monica didn't say anything, but she looked more relaxed. “So? Tell me what’s up, kid. I promise I’ll do everything I can to help.”

Monica opened her mouth to speak and closed it again. A loose string sticking out of the cushion suddenly became very interesting to her. She made a point not to look at Carol, almost as if she wanted to say something, but felt as though she couldn't. Like it would hurt the woman. Carol squinted; thinking maybe she was beginning to figure something out. But in an effort to not put ideas in Monica’s head, she stayed quiet. Several minutes passed before either of them spoke.

Finally, Monica began.

 


	2. it’s hard to express

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> second chapter of its not easy for me to talk about. monica finally tells carol what’s going on. so. much. angst. maria makes an appearance too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii so this was much angstier than i intended lol. but i feel like it developed monica’s character a lot so i’d say it was worth it. i decided i’m gonna split this into three parts. so the next chapter will be the last one. @gaysanvers on twitter helped me plot this entire thing so a huge thank you to her. i hope you enjoyed and thank you so much for reading!!!

“It's nothing, really. I've just been thinking about my dad.” Monica muttered. Carol sucked in a breath. She hadn't been expecting that at all. Monica had never shown much interest in the whereabouts or identity of her father. Carol and Maria had always been enough for her, or so Carol thought. She was suddenly reminded of the six years Monica had had to wonder about her past. 

 

The worst part was that Carol didn't have much to tell her. She'd never even met the man. All she knew was that Maria had woken her up with a phone call at 2 in the morning after over a month of radio silence. She remembered tears and silence and questions she didn't have the answer to. She remembered finally getting Maria to explain why she was so distraught, and immediately grabbing her keys and speeding over to console her. Beyond that, she'd never cared much. He hadn't stuck around for Monica. He'd missed his chance. But something told Carol that wasn't the best way to respond.

 

“Your dad?” Carol repeated. She mentally facepalmed.  _ Nice going. _

 

“Yeah, did you know him?” Something about Monica’s tone rubbed Carol the wrong way. It was like she didn't actually want the answer. Like there was another question she wanted to ask. Carol took a risk she hoped she wouldn't regret.

 

“No, I didn't. Monica, where is this coming from?” She kept her voice low in an attempt to avoid any accidental aggression. 

 

Monica wasn't phased by the blunt question. She seemed almost relieved. But there was still something holding her back. She didn't respond. Carol tried again, this time a bit more confident.

 

“Did someone say something to you?” Again, her tone remained as soft as she could make it. She'd already gotten more out of Monica than expected, coming off too protective could ruin that.

 

“No,” Monica said and bit her lip. Carol smiled. Biting her lip had been Monica’s tell ever since she’d learned how to lie. It never failed. But Carol’s smile quickly disappeared when she realized what this meant. Someone had said something. To Monica. About her dad? And it had hurt her to the point where she was lying to Carol about it. A fire ignited in her chest.

 

“Who was it?” she said sharply, forgetting to check herself. Monica shrank back a little, but Carol pretended not to notice.

 

“No one.” Monica tried to sound strong, but her voice cracked. Carol was getting fed up. She needed to know who and she needed to know now. Anger seeped into her.

 

“Monica Gabrielle Rambeau tell me who hurt you right now or so help me God,” she raised her voice out of immense frustration. It was only slightly, but it was more than enough. Monica’s eyes watered, and Carol opened her mouth to fix it. But it was too late; the fiery spirit embedded within Monica from spending years with Maria and Carol finally showed itself.

 

“I’m not  _ telling _ you! Why won't you just listen to me?!”  She matched Carol’s volume. Carol only took it as ammunition.

 

“Why won't  _ you _ just talk to me?! Jesus Christ Monica, I've never seen you act like this! What are you so scared of?” she spat back. She wasn't thinking. Neither of them were. Their emotions were the only thing guiding their actions, and nothing felt rational. If Carol’s mind had been anywhere but in the moment, she would have been reminded of the fights her and Maria had after she realized her feelings. Ripe with hot tears and words unsaid. Finally, unlike the arguments between the two women, the truth came out.

 

“Because I don't want to hurt you!” Monica shouted, but there was pain in her voice. Carol sighed and pressed her fingers to her temples. She'd thought that was holding the girl back, but now it was clear. It was all clear. Why Monica refused to tell her the truth. Why she'd randomly brought up her absentee father. Why she could barely bring herself to look Carol in the eye.

 

“They said something about me and your mom, didn't they?” She wasn't calm yet, but she wasn't loud anymore either. She'd clearly hit a nerve, and she wasn't giving up.

 

Monica froze. Her fists were clenched. Her eyes were wide. Her breathing was heavy. She bit her tongue.

 

“Didn't they?” Carol repeated, quieter.

 

Monica sighed. Her resolve disappeared. She realized she wasn't going to win.

 

“They've always whispered,” she said reluctantly, “At first, it was because of my dad. But I never really cared much about that. I knew you would come back soon, and mom always did everything she could. She came to every science fair, every talent show, hung every drawing on the refrigerator. The same way you used to.” 

 

Carol looked down. Her disappearance from Monica’s life had yet to be a subject of discussion for the two of them. She didn't know what to say. Thankfully, Monica continued. 

 

“But I always thought that once you came back, the whispers would stop. And I guess I was right in a way, because they started saying things to my face.” Monica stopped, and it didn't seem as though she had any intention of starting again. This time, Carol spoke.

 

“Things like what?”

 

“They said I wouldn't turn out right. That I was growing up wrong, and I was missing out on so much. That just because I had two moms, it doesn't mean I have two parents. That it was gross and weird. That I-” 

 

By this point, Monica was openly crying. Tears streamed down her face as she tore away at her fingers and her chest shook. 

 

Carol took the younger girl’s hands in her own, stopping their movement as well as her rant. Monica looked down at them. She rubbed her thumb over Monica’s fingers as she responded. This part was easy.

 

“They’re wrong, kid. They are so fu- freaking wrong. You are so beautiful, and strong, and there is absolutely nothing shameful about the way you were raised. No part of it. Having one mom is amazing. So is having two. Those kids are idiots that have no idea what the hell they're talking about.”

 

Monica looked up at that. Of course, she’d heard Carol swear, but never directly to her. Carol took her response as motivation to continue.

 

“I’m so sorry they said that shit to you. You deserve  _ so  _ much better, kid. So much better. How long has this been happening?”

 

“They only started saying things to me this week. I tried to be brave, like you and mom. I tried to not cry or yell or apologize. But it's hard. It's hard to be brave all the time,” She admitted regretfully.

 

“Monica, your mom and I would never ask you to be strong all the time. We sure aren't. You're already amazing, and we´re already so proud. They are bullies, and that's that. Now, I need their names.”

 

Monica froze.

 

“Why?” she asked, concerned.

 

“Why? What do you mean, why? They made my best friend in the whole world cry. There are major consequences for what they did, kid. They're not gonna just get away with this, I swear.” Carol was in full protective parent mode.

 

Monica took a while to respond. She chewed on her lip as she contemplated. Ultimately, she was upset with what they'd said about the people she loved most. So, she gave in. 

 

“Bianca Whitaker.” 

 

“That's it?” Carol questioned.

 

“And Ross Jones.”

 

Carol raised her eyebrows.

 

“And Gavin Brewster. But, that's it. No one else said anything.”

 

“Pinky swear?” Carol held out her pinky.

 

“Pinky swear.” Monica interlocked her own finger with Carol’s. She giggled a bit. Carol smiled wide.

 

“There she is. My best friend is back!” She reached out and wiped a stray tear from Monica’s face. “You know I love you, right? And there's nothing in this  _ world _ that I wouldn't do to make you smile.”

 

Monica’s eyes shined. Telling Carol about what happened had clearly released a burden. 

 

“I know.” But her smile faded. Explaining what happened didn't take away the pain it caused. It would take time and even more uncomfortable conversations. Carol sensed this, and she went out on a limb for what felt like the millionth time that night.

 

“So, I know you're all big and grown-up now, but what do you say we watch an all-time favorite? I've been itching to see The Princess and the Frog again since the day I got back.” She had the grin on her face that had always made saying no damn near impossible for both Rambeau’s. 

 

“Fine,” Monica conceded, “but only because  _ you _ want to.”

 

Carol put the movie on and returned to the couch, sitting completely upright. Monica glanced over, silently asking for permission. Carol winked at her and patted her legs. Monica crawled over and laid on her lap. She got as close she could, so her head and shoulders were pressed against Carol’s stomach. The woman ran her hands through Monica’s hair. Both of their bodies relaxed as the girls grinned. They hadn't done this in over six years. Halfway through the film, Monica was asleep. Carol heard her light snores and carefully carried her to her bedroom. She returned downstairs to turn everything off and went to her and Maria’s room. 

 

Immediately, she called her girlfriend.

 

“Hey baby, how’d it go?” Carol’s heart softened at the sound of Maria's voice. But it didn't last long.

 

“They're bullying her.”

 

Carol heard Maria inhale sharply. 

 

“What?”

 

Carol retold what their daughter had explained to her. Every detail. As she went on, her volume rose and her heart rate picked up. She was pacing their bedroom floor with her unoccupied hand in her hair. She was so  _ angry _ . How dare they? What God died and gave them the right to hurt her little girl? She ought to find their addresses and go to their houses right now. By the end, Carol realized she was crying. Maria remained silent until she finished.

 

“Carol, listen to me. You did  _ amazing  _ tonight.” She knew that Carol must have been incredibly stressed out and insecure in a situation like this. This was the first major thing that had happened in Monica’s life since her return.

 

Carol huffed, wiping her face. Maria kept going.

 

“You did, baby. I am so proud of you. And you kept up a strong front in front of her. You're so strong.”

 

“Yeah, so is she,” Carol deflected, calming down.

 

“Yeah, of course she is. She's our kid. But she shouldn't have gone through this. She's too young. She's too sweet. I’m-”

 

“Furious?” 

 

“So fucking furious,” Maria said with the harshest tone Carol had ever heard. But she understood. She felt the exact same way. 

 

“I know. God, I know. Me too. I don't know what to do, Maria. I wanna go out right now and teach those kids a lesson but I just-”

 

“Yeah, I get it. We’ll figure it out together, I promise.”

 

“Ok.”

 

“I'll be there in the morning.” Maria hung up.

 

Carol didn't sleep that night.

  
  
  
  



	3. carry me home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part 3 of its not easy for me to talk about. maria comes home, and carol solves the problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is the end!!! thanks for following my little story, and i hope you enjoy it. i’ll be back with more very soon. feel free to message me (@serenesapphic) on twitter with suggestions or questions!

The quiet sound of the front door closing jolted Carol out of her spiraling thoughts. Initially, she was defensive, always ready to protect. Quickly though, she remembered Maria, and adrenaline was replaced with relief. She didn't have to do this alone anymore. Carol’s fingers tapped disconnected rhythms on the navy blue comforter as she waited. It was the longest two minutes of her life. 

 

Finally, there was a quiet knock and then the bedroom door creaked open. It dawned on Carol that it was somewhere near 4 in the morning, and she should probably be asleep. But none of that mattered when Maria slid into the room, her back facing Carol as she set her bags down. Her breathing was heavy, and Carol could practically hear her heart pounding.

 

“Hi,” she whispered.

 

Maria jumped and spun around. She'd clearly assumed Carol had gone to sleep. Her mouth broke into a small smile, though, when she laid eyes on her girlfriend. Her blonde hair was messy from how much she’d messed with it over the past couple of hours. Her fingers were still tapping and she was looking up at Maria with a gaze full of love. 

 

“Hey baby,” she responded after a moment of scanning Carol to make sure she was alright. Maria sat down next to her girlfriend and grabbed her rapidly moving hand. She looked at the concern in Carol’s eyes. Instinctually, she brought olive skin to her lips and kissed the back of Carol’s hand. Carol gave a grateful grin and scooted closer, resting her head on the taller woman’s shoulder. Maria rubbed Carol’s hand with her thumb in another attempt to soothe her. She could feel how much the situation was weighing on Carol. Her shoulders were slumped, eyelids heavy, breathing ragged.

 

“We’re gonna take care of this, yeah?” She mumbled into Carol’s hair.

 

Carol nodded and closed her eyes. She didn't realize how much she missed Maria until she was next to her again. It had only been a day, but a lot of shit had gone down and she'd felt so lonely and unprepared. Now, she felt safe.

 

“I know. I just didn't know what to do. I still don't. I just want her happy. I wish this had never happened,” Carol let out.

 

“You and me both. Trust me, I was fuming the whole way here. I barely slept before I left. My parents weren't happy either. I mean, we've been dealing with racism our entire lives. It's Louisiana for god’s sake. But homophobia this blunt is new for me. I guess because I was never really out before you,” Monica explained, continuing to rub the back of Carol’s hand.

 

Carol didn't know how to respond to that. To be entirely honest, she'd spent as little time as possible thinking of her time before the crash. But the memories of starting fights with bigoted, old white people for saying offensive things to her family came rushing back. The times where Monica came home crying because some ignorant kid said something about the texture of her hair. It had been part of the reality, and it had only gotten worse. She wasn't going to let it happen though. She refused. The beginning of a plan began to formulate in her mind.

 

“Carol? You with me?” Maria interrupted her thoughts yet again. 

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I'm with you. I'm sorry, baby. I know this is so much harder on both of you for so many reasons. It's so evil and hateful and you know if I could take it all away with the snap of my fingers, I would.”

 

“I know,” Maria sighed, “I know, babe.”

 

“It's so stupid. I have all these powers and there's nothing I can do to stop our kid from hurting. I can blast a spaceship out of the sky but I can't comfort Monica. I fucking hate it. It makes me so goddamn angry,” Carol raged. 

 

“Hey. Breathe.” Maria’s tone was low and measured. 

 

Carol furrowed her eyebrows at the sudden calming demeanor until she realized she had clenched her fists so tight that even her short fingernails had begun to dig into her palm. She hadn't even noticed the small indents until stretching out her hand released a shooting pain. Carol slightly winced, she'd experienced far more intense pain. But Maria noticed and took it as a sign.

 

“We should sleep, yeah?” she suggested. 

 

Carol wanted to argue with her, she really did. She wanted to stay up and develop a plan to get revenge. She wanted to yell and scream and cry and yell some more. But Carol didn't have the energy to do any of that. Plus, the idea of falling asleep in Maria’s arms was more than enough for her to concede.

 

“Yeah,” she replied, offering a small smile. 

 

They changed in silence, the air heavy with loaded thoughts. It was odd. Their bodies were there, but their minds traveled through pain, anger, sadness, regret. Three ignorant middle schoolers had placed a dark cloud over the Danvers-Rambeau family. After a bit of what seemed to be floating around the room, Carol and Maria landed in bed together. Carol claimed her spot closest to the door and waited for her girlfriend to settle in.

 

Soon enough, Maria’s arm was strong around her waist and she found herself scooting backwards to find more contact. Even if she didn't want to admit it to herself, today had been rough on her too. She'd been hit with obstacles she'd never even considered, and problems she didn't know if she could solve. And without Maria. Carol desperately wanted to be held. She wanted to fit perfectly next to her favorite body in the world and finally feel stable. As always, Maria could tell. All it took was a quiet sigh from the smaller woman for Maria to pull Carol as close as possible and tangle their legs together. She was familiar with what Carol needed when she was feeling this way. She kissed the top of her scalp as the blonde’s breathing finally slowed. She rubbed her thumb along Carol’s bare stomach. Their bodies were warm and connected. Carol closed her eyes and began to drift to sleep. 

 

“I'm so glad she has you,” Maria mumbled.

 

Carol wasn't sure if she was supposed to hear it, but she was glad she did. 

 

Carol woke up feeling cold. The warmth she'd fallen asleep next to was gone. There was a moment of panic; there usually was. Then, logic caught up to her. So did her surroundings. Sunlight was streaming through the slightly opened curtains that matched the blue of their comforter. She could hear the laughter and conversation coming from her two favorite people from the kitchen downstairs. She smiled. She felt like she could do this. She would do anything to keep them happy. The plan she’d considered last night seemed completely rational. 

 

After quickly getting dressed, Carol made her way downstairs and was greeted with smiles and hugs. Her mind was preoccupied with her intentions for the day, but time with Maria and Monica was always nice. She glanced at the analog clock on the wall and realized it was almost noon. It was time.

 

“Hey, babe, what do you think about taking Monica for ice cream? I think she deserves it,” Carol proposed with a doe-eyed look of innocence on her face.

 

Maria’s eyes widened.

 

Monica shrieked with excitement.

 

“Carol, it’s not even 12 o’clock. That’s ridiculous. She’ll cut her appetite for lunch,” Maria responded with slight annoyance.

 

“Mommy,  _ please _ . I promise I’ll still eat lunch! I think ice cream is just what I need to feel better,” Monica argued, a wide smile spread across her face.

 

Maria sighed and looked between Monica and Carol. “I’m not gonna win this, am I?”

 

“Nope,” the other two girls said in unison. 

“Fine, let’s go,” Maria conceded. 

 

Monica literally jumped up and down. She and Maria headed for the front door and even unlocked it before they realized Carol wasn’t following.

 

“Are you not coming?” Monica asked.

 

“Uh, I’ll meet you guys there! I just have to take care of a few things. It’s not too far of a walk.”

 

Maria squinted at Carol. She obviously knew she was up to something. But Monica was tugging on her sleeve and it only took one look into her daughter's hopeful eyes for her to pull herself out of the house. 

 

“Don’t do anything stupid, Carol,” Maria warned.

 

“Me? Never!” Carol scoffed.

 

Maria rolled her eyes but shut the front door behind her. Carol waited for the sound of their car leaving the driveway to take action. She jogged back into their bedroom and grabbed Maria’s pocket notebook she keeped on their dresser. She searched for three names, but only found one. It’d have to be enough. Carol had never been more grateful for her girlfriends overly organized tendencies, as it provided her the address and phone number of Gavin Brewster. There wasn’t much she could do with the phone number that a quick visit wouldn’t take care of. The house was in the neighborhood, which was unsurprising. Most of the kids in Monica’s class lived in close proximity to each other. Carol opened the door to their closet and ran her hands over her suit. She hadn’t put it on since she’d returned. Today, she finally had good reason.

 

In a few minutes, she was out the door and in the backyard of Gavin Brewster’s house. He had a dark brown bowl cut that bounced up and down as he poorly dribbled a basketball. He wore a green t-shirt and black basketball shorts. He was just a normal kid. A normal kid with a mind so empty and a heart so rotten that he’d made her daughter cry. Carol had to control the urge to blast him right then and there. But she’d promised herself she wouldn’t hurt anyone. She was there to scare him, shake him up a bit so he never even considered messing with Monica again. 

 

“Having fun?” she said as nonchalantly as she could.

 

Gavin was startled and turned around to take in the vision that was Carol Danvers. She hadn’t flown there, so she wasn’t glowing or anything. Not yet at least. But she had become fairly famous since her town found out she hadn’t died in the plane crash. It was likely that he’d heard of her. For whatever reason, Gavin was at a loss for words.

 

“Cat got your tongue? No problem, I didn’t come here for small talk.” Carol began to step forward as she spoke. “No, I came here to tell you one very simple, but  _ very  _ important thing. Are you ready to hear what I have to say, Gavin?¨

 

The boy stumbled backwards in an attempt to get farther away from Carol. His mouth was dry with fear, so he nodded. 

 

¨Good, good. Listen carefully, now.  _ Stay the hell away from Monica Rambeau.  _ Don’t speak to her, don’t speak about her, don’t go near her, and don’t you  _ dare  _ touch her. Now, Gavin, I’m not going to hurt you. This time. But just know that I can. Do you understand?” Carol clenched her fists and almost sent out a photon blast for dramatic effect. 

 

Gavin nodded wildly. His hands were trembling, and he seemed frozen in his spot after realizing moving backwards wouldn’t help anything. 

 

“Great! I’m so glad we had this talk, Gavin. I hope we never have to have it again,” Carol said in a scarily monotone voice. She flashed him the fakest smile she could and quite literally flew out of his backyard. 

 

Thankfully, Carol got home and changed in time to catch Monica and Maria at the ice cream parlor. Monica, of course, was excited to see her, but Maria had a look of skepticism. Carol slid into the booth right next to her girlfriend and bumped her shoulder, giving her a wink. Maria only stared at Carol’s smug grin, unsure of whether or not she wanted to know the reason behind it. Carol ordered a strawberry ice cream with a cherry and entertained a drawn-out conversation with Monica about a book she’d recently finished. After about a half an hour more, the family of three headed home. It wasn’t until Maria got a phone call during dinner that things began to shift.

 

“Mrs. Brewster, Gavin must be mistaken. Carol would never threaten a child and she  _ certainly _ does not have supernatural powers.” Maria’s tone was tense and frustrated. 

 

Carol and Maria sat at the table straining to hear the phone call in the living room her from the dining room. 

 

“To be frank, Mrs. Brewster, the fact that you called me with such an outrageous claim is what I find unacceptable. I’m sorry but you simply have the wrong house. Goodbye.” Maria slammed the phone into its holder. Carol held her breath, bracing for impact.

 

“Carol Danvers, I  _ know _ that you did  _ not _ show up to a child’s house and threaten them in the name of protecting Monica!” she exclaimed. 

 

Carol opened her mouth, but closed it again. They both knew it was her. It was Monica who spoke next.

 

“You went to Gavin’s house? And used your powers to threaten him? All for me?” she asked in disbelief.

 

Carol couldn’t help but laugh, this is what she’d wanted. “Of course I did, kid. I told you, I’d do anything in the world to make you smile.” 

 

And smile, she did. Monica beamed brighter than the sun. She felt so much stronger knowing Carol was in her corner. But, she was a smart girl, and she knew her mother wouldn't feel the same.

 

“Mom, she was just trying to protect me. Please don’t be mad. She didn’t hurt him!” Monica pleaded.

 

Maria shook her head at Carol, and she watched her girlfriend shrink down into her seat.

 

“What you did was stupid and dangerous. Gavin’s parents could have pressed charges. And if I wasn’t such a good liar they might have gone through! You put a lot at risk, Carol.” Monica stated.

 

Carol began to look sorrowful, like a puppy that had been called bad for the first time. She honestly hadn’t taken all of that into consideration. All she could think about was watching Monica sob and feeling like the most helpless human being on earth. She didn’t know how to be a parent yet, but she knew how to be a hero. So, it’s what she relied on. She didn’t think much about the consequences of that.

 

“But,” Maria continued, “You did it for a good reason. A really good reason. And, Monica’s right, you didn’t actually hurt anyone. So, maybe I’ll let this one slide. As long as you swear to never  _ ever _ do it again.”

 

“I swear!” Carol said quickly, both grateful and surprised she’d gotten off so easily. She winked at Monica, a silent sign of gratitude.

 

They finished their dinner of leftover Hawaiian pizza with laughter, and Carol knew she’d made the right decision. Later than night, she was in bed with Maria when she began to feel a bit unsure again.

 

“Are you sure you’re not mad at me?” she asked.

 

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Maria responded sincerely.

 

“But, why?”

 

“Because I would have done the same thing.”

That Monday, and every day for the rest of the year, Monica didn’t hear a single word from Gavin Brewster. Word spread fast, though, and she quickly went from the kid people picked on to the kid people respected. She was proud of her family, and they were proud of her. 

  
  



End file.
